(Video Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J1pD0sIuEWY) 

 

Friends take up important roles in our daily lives. According to Foster (2005), “friendship” is a key determinant for establishing personal happiness, hopefulness, self-esteem and self image for adult. Ideal friends will share their own happiness and sadness with others, support and help one another whenever there are difficulties. However, what exactly do we mean by “friends”?

 

Spencer and Pahl (2006) suggested 8 different types of friends that we may encounter in our lives. “Associates” are friends who have similar interests and hobbies yet without much communication. “Useful contacts” are friends who share information and guidance. “Favor friends” exchange resources and information but emotional exchanges are seldom involved. “Fun friends” are those who spend their leisure time together for recreational purposes. This seems to be similar to associates, yet fun friends are not only confined to having similar hobbies and face-to-face contacts—despite the fact that the same thing still happens due to the lack of emotional exchanges and intimacy. Combining of the characteristics of the above two kinds of friends suggests another type of friends—”helpmates”. Literally, helpmates help one another but the support provided is merely involved in concrete issues like lending money, without giving much emotional support. Contrarily, “comforters” provide emotional support as well as socializing. Trust exists among “confidants” and they are willing to confide and reveal their deepest secrets and personal thoughts to one another. Despite the very distinct characteristics shown from the above types of friends, there indeed exists “soulmates”—the most invaluable friendship we can ever find—who possess all 7 characteristics mentioned.

 

People with greater happiness have closer social connections and they are more satisfied with their relationships with others (Diener & Seligman, 2002). Another intriguing fact is that social relationships do not necessarily bring you happiness; yet having good relationships with others is one of the indispensable elements contributing to happiness. Besides, social connections are inextricably related to your feeling of solitariness. A close relationship can help reduce loneliness, while the social support you gain from your relationships with others also directly affect your level of loneliness. And very often, maintaining close relationships require a certain level of “self-disclosure”—the willingness to reveal their personal thoughts and feelings (Derlaga & Berg, 2013). Say, the tendency you choose to only mention the piece of music and the great musician you like, or to reveal your own depression at the moment when you feel frustrated indeed matters a lot.

 

People who have one or more close friendships appear to be happier, yet it does not seem to matter on whether or not we have a large network of close relationships. In fact, the difference seems to lie in how we share our own thoughts to others, and whether or not we share common feelings and provide support to one another—it is never the quantity of our relationships, but the quality that matters.

 

 

References

Derlaga, V. J., & Berg, J. H. (2013). Self-disclosure: Theory, research, and therapy. Springer Science & Business Media.

 

Diener, E., & Seligman, M. E. (2002). Very happy people. Psychological science, 13(1), 81-84.

 

Foster, G. (2005). Making friends: A nonexperimental analysis of social pair formation. Human Relations, 58, 1443-1465.

 

Spencer, L., & Pahl, R. E. (2006). Rethinking friendship: Hidden solidarities today. Princeton University Press. Sons, Inc.