Written by Tiffany Leung

(Video Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PZSp9mTgx6E)

 

The word "distance" is always seen as a difficulty in love lives. If couples can overcome this difficulty, their relationship will become stronger and more long-lasting; On the contrary, if couples can not overcome the distance, their relationship may not stand.

 

The reason why “distance” is said to be a difficulty is because one of the most important features in maintaining romance is physical proximity. Festinger, Schachter and Back (1950) research found that the closer the geographical distance between friends, the closer their relationships are. Same applies to romantic relationship, the closer geographical distance the lovers are, the closer their relationships are. If a pair of lover is separated by distance, interactions between them will be limited. Their relationship may deteriorate or even end when there are less face-to-face interaction and physical contact.

 

It seems that long-distance relationships are always facing different challenges, but does it it really mean these relationships end easily? In fact, research has indicated that there are no differences between long-distance relationship and ordinary relationships, no matter for breakup rate or their relationship quality indices, such as satisfaction, intimacy, and self -disclosure. The only difference is that long-distance lovers are more prone to depression, anxiety and other symptoms, and more likely under the impression that long-distance relationship can not be sustained (Van Horn et al., 1997, as cited in Unger, 2001).

 

Lots of controversies on the reactions of the break up of long-distance relationships in different genders have been raised by psychologists. Helgeson (1994) has pointed out that if male brings up the idea of breaking up in a long-distance relationship, female will have a relatively good self-adjustment and relatively positive mood. This is because female considers the possibility of breaking up more often. A different perspective could be seen in the study presented by Wilmot, Carbaugh and Baxter (1985) which suggested that there are no difference in regrets and emotional reactions of the breaking up of long-distance relationships in males and females within three months.

 

In fact, long-distance relationships are not as difficult to overcome as we think. Sometimes people are just affected by the stereotypes of long-distance relationship, suggesting that long-distance relationship are difficult to maintain and breakup is common. Perhaps it is like what was written in the song "soul recognize (靈魂相認)" by Hins (張敬軒): "love swallows the distances and the hours (愛把距離和時辰鯨吞)". Can love really help us break through the hindrance of distance? For love, we invest more trust and perseverance.

 

 

 

References

Festinger, L., Schachter, S., & Back K. W. (1950). Social pressures in informal groups: A study of human factors in housing.             Stanford, CA: Stanford University Press

 

Helgeson, V. S. (1994). Long-Distance Romantic Relationships: Sex Differences In Adjustment And Breakup. Personality &             Social Psychology Bulletin, 20(3).

 

Wilmot, W.M., Carbaugh, D.A., & Baxter, L.A. (1985). Communicative Strategies Used To Terminate Romantic                                 Relationships. Western Journal of Speech Communication, 49(3), 204-216.