Written by HayleyAnne Choi

Responsiveness plays an integral part in maintaining interpersonal relationship (Canevello& rocker, 2010). Especially in a romantic relationship, whether a relationship is satisfying or not tremendously depends on the responsiveness of their partners. When we share our mundane lives with our partners, we expect them to give response, show support and understanding. The more responsive our partners are, the more we feel like we being cherished and cared. Emotional well-being can thus be escalated (Reis, Clark & Holmes, 2004). That is probably the reason why we care so much whether others reply our messages or not.

 

We spend a great deal of time checking “other’s” last seen. Whether our crushes reply our message or not has become our priority. As much as we like to believe that we are capable of multi-tasking, we just cannot. With so much time allocated to friends and lovers, our family is inevitably being neglected. As we are growing up, our social circle keeps expending. Gradually, our reliance on family diminishes.

 

Parents are often under the impression that the love their children have for them reduces as time went by. But has it ever occurred to them that their children are not expressive and prefer showing their love via action. The reason why mattering reduces is because children value more about other social attachments like friends and schoolmates (Carl, 2015). It is not that our love toward parents has decreased. It is just that as we grow older, we no longer have as many opportunities to express our love.

 

Many parents learn to use communication applications like Whatsapp and Wechat, in hope to integrate into our social circle. They are interested in our daily lives and want more opportunities to communicate with us. Even though they can never catch up with our typing speed and may not be able to master the recording function but bear in mind that every single message they send represents their unconditional love to us.

 

The lost of a family member is always miserable. Children tend to encounter more predicument when they are growing up if they have lost their parent in the childhood (Bowlby, 1980; Harris, 1995). If a pivatol family member is lost in aduldhood, well-being will be negative affected (Genevro, Marshall, & Miller, 2004). As the daughters and sons, we have to cherish the time we have with our parents before it is too late, before the time that your message to them can never be seen.

 

Further reading:

“Read but not responding” is a kind of social exclusion. Due to uncertainty, we put a lot of emphasis on whether people reply to our message or not. Anxiety, lost and doubt are what we experience when being ignored. That is why so much hurt is resulted from not receiving a reply.

 

 

 

References

Canevello, A., & Crocker, J. (2010). Creating good relationships: Responsiveness, relationship quality, and interpersonal

     goals. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 99(1), 78-106.

 

Carl, P. (2015). Parental adjustment to the adolescent’s “family” of friends. Psychology Today. Retrieved December 20, 2015,

    from https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/surviving-your-childs-adolescence/201412/parental-adjustment-the-

    adolescents-family-friends.

 

Genevro, J. L., Marshall, T., & Miller, T. (2004). Report on bereavement and grief research. Washington, D.C.: Center for the

    Advancement of Health.

 

Harris, M. (1995). The loss that is forever: The lifelong impact of the early death of a mother or father. New York, NY,

     U.S.A.: Penguin.

 

Laursen, B., & Collins, W. (2012). Relationship pathways. Thousand Oaks: Sage Publications, Inc.Marlene M. M. & Maya P.

     (2004). Adolescent-parent attachment: Bonds that support healthy development. Paediatrics and Child Health, 9(8), 551-555.

 

Reis, H. T., Clark, M. S., & Holmes, J. G. (2004). Perceived partner responsiveness as an organizing con-struct in the study of

     intimacy and closeness. Handbookof Closeness and Intimacy, 201-225.