Fierce wind roaring in winter, wandering on the street alone, looking at couples holding hands to keep each other warm. How do you feel? Would you just sigh or would you explore ways to be single yet content?

 

A recent research revealed that people in romantic relationships feel more blessed than those who are single. The latter is more prone to mental health problems or even obesity as romantic relationship could fulfil one’s need for sexual partner (Braithwaite, Delevi & Fincham, 2010) which leads to a drastic decline in loneliness, going off to wild flights of fancy as well as unhealthy behaviours like overeating.

 

Being single, one may often fantasize of their Mr. or Miss “Mcdreamy”. However, a sad truth is that fantasies remain fantasies, it is improbable for them to come true. However, is it infallible that people in relationships feel more blissful than bachelors? Indeed, it is not. There are two types of loneliness, namely social loneliness and emotional loneliness. Emotional loneliness exists whenever the bonding in a relationship is weak (Weiss, 1973). Therefore, being alone does not mean you are lonely; being in a romantic relationship does not necessarily mean you are not lonely.

 

It is understandable for one to fall for someone very different from their Mr. or Miss “McDreamy” because they are tired of or even afraid of being single. On the other hand, some may resist terminating their romantic relationship even if they realise their partner is not “the right one”（Impett, Joel, Macdonald, Maxwell, Muise, Peragine & Spielmann, 2013).

 

Certainly, some people are still waiting for their Mr. or Miss “McDreamy” to arrive. Unfortunately, despite a right timing, there may also be practical hindrances preventing the blossoming of a relationship. To defend ourselves and avoiding getting hurt, we resist a start-over. Or another possible deduction is we deem ourselves as unattractive due to low self-esteem (Firestone, 2013). Our hesitance hinders our path towards our Mr. or Miss “McDreamy” and leaves us with nothing but regert. Say if you are fortunate enough to meet your Mr. or Miss “McDreamy”, and you confessed your love for them. However, choosing a mate is a two-ways street. You may still get rejected because you are not the one he or she is waiting for. they may deny your social values like the case in the pairing game suggested by Ellis and Kelley (1999).

 

After all, what matters is that you can see beyond loneliness in the present have confidence in finding your Mr. or Miss “McDreamy”. You can never predict when will your “he” or “she” knock on your door.

 

 

References

Braithwaite, S., Delevi, R., & Fincham, F. (2010). Romantic relationships and the physical and mental health of college

    students. Personal Relationships, 17(1), 1-12.

 

Ellis, B. J., & Kelley, H. H. (1999). The Pairing Game: A Classroom Demonstration of the Matching Phenomenon. Teaching

     of Psychology, 26(2), 118-121.

 

Firestone, L. (2013). 8 reasons you might still be single. Psychology Today. Retrieved December 29, 2015, from

     https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/compassion-matters/201311/8-reasons-you-might-still-be-single

 

Spielmann, S. S., Macdonald, G., Maxwell, J. A., Joel, S., Peragine, D., Muise, A., & Impett, E.A. (2013). Settling for less out

     of fear of being single. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 105(6), 1049-1073.

 

Weiss, R.S. (1973). Loneliness: The experience of emotional and social isolation. Cambridge, MA, US: The MIT Press.