Written by Tiffany Leung

(Video Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PZSp9mTgx6E)

 

The word "distance" is always seen as a difficulty in love lives. If couples can overcomethis difficulty, their relationship will become stronger and longer lasting; On the contrary, if couples could not defeat the distance, they may not stand.

 

The reason why “distance” is said to be a difficulty is because one of the important features in maintaining romance, is physical proximity. Festinger’s, Schachter’s and Back (1950)‘s research found that the closer the geographical distance between friends, the closer their relationships are. Same applies on love relationships, the closer geographical distance the lovers are, the closer their relationships are. If a pair of lover is separated by distance, interactions between them will be limited. Their relationship may be deteriorated or even end when there are less face to face interaction and physical contact.

 

It seemed that long-distance relationships are always facing different challenges, but does it it really mean these relationships end easily? In fact, research has indicated that there are no differences between long-distance relationship and ordinary relationships, no matter on breakup rate or their relationship quality indices, such as satisfaction, intimacy, and self -disclosure. The only difference is that long-distance lovers prone to depression, anxiety and other symptoms, and also believe easily that long-distance relationship can not be sustained (Van Horn et al., 1997, as cited in Unger, 2001).

 

Lots of controversies on the reactions of the break up of long-distance relationships in different gender have been raised by psychologists. Helgeson (1994) has pointed out that if males brought up the idea of breaking up in a long-distance relationship, females will have a relatively good self-adjustment and relatively positive mood. This is because female consider the possibility of breaking up more often. A different perspective could be seen in the study presented by Wilmot, Carbaugh and Baxter (1985). It has suggested that there are no differences in the regrets and emotional reactions of the breaking up of long-distance relationships on males and females within three months.

 

In fact, long-distance relationships are not as difficult to overcome as we thought. Sometimes people are just affected by the stereotypes of long-distance relationship, suggesting these are difficult to maintain and easy to break. Perhaps it is like what has written in the song "soul recognize (靈魂相認)" by Hins (張敬軒): "love swallows the distances and the hours (愛把距離和時辰鯨吞)". Can love really help us breakthrough the hinder of distance? For love, we put more trust and perseverance.

 

 

 

References

Festinger, L., Schachter, S., & Back K. W. (1950). Social pressures in informal groups: A study of human factors in housing. Stanford, CA: Stanford University Press

 

Helgeson, V. S. (1994). Long-Distance Romantic Relationships: Sex Differences In Adjustment And Breakup. Personality & Social Psychology Bulletin, Vol.20(3), 254(12).Unger R. K. (Eds.). (2001). Handbook Of The Psychology Of Women And Gender. New York: Wiley & Sons, Inc.

 

Wilmot, W.M., Carbaugh, D.A., & Baxter, L.A. (1985). Communicative Strategies Used To Terminate Romantic Relationships. Western Journal of Speech Communication, Vol.49(3), 204-216.